Destiny is a troublesome thing
by lossofmerlin
Summary: Merlin allows Arthur to know him completely.
1. Chapter 1

"If you are sacking me anyway, you might as well know this." Merlin held open his hands and spoke soft words of magic to allow a blue flame to appear. He had known that Arthur wasn't serious about sacking him, in fact, they had been playfully bantering. That might have been why he suddenly felt the need to be so open with the Prince of Camelot. Merlin closed his hands to extinguish the flame.

"What was that," Arthur asked, though he knew perfectly well what it had been.

"You know what it was, so do your worst." Merlin stood his ground. He was beginning to wonder if revealing his magic had been the right move.

Arthur stared back at him, dumbfounded. His mind was trying to process. Merlin had magic. How long had that been going on? Quite some time, he would wager. So, Merlin wasn't just some bumbling servant. Arthur had always known he was more than that. He knew Merlin to be brave and kind and sometimes annoyingly honest...

Arthur hesitated. But, that wasn't true, was it? Who knew how many times Merlin had bent the truth to conceal his magic. Arthur could see why he would have. It was a matter of survival, really. But what if there were other things that Merlin misled him on? What if...

Arthur didn't like the dark place his thoughts were headed next. Up till this point he had considered his manservant what one might call a 'friend.' Clearly, he would never tell him that to his face. Nor would he tell anyone else. But now he found himself wondering how real that friendship had been?

"Why did you come to Camelot," he asked in a firm tone.

"What? What do you mean? I came here... well..." Merlin realized that he had never shared this particular story with Arthur. "I was using too much magic back home, so my mom sent me away."

Arthur gave a dry laugh. "So you came [here]? Where using magic can get you killed?"

Merlin nodded, feeling uncomfortable. "I'm not sure my mom realized how bad things were here."

"Bad?" Arthur frowned. "Things are not 'bad' here, Merlin. We maintain order and peace."

Merlin swallowed. He didn't want to screw things up with Arthur. The Prince wasn't calling for the guards, so that was a start. Even though the warlock felt like fleeing, he stood, unmoving, determined to face Arthur.

"Why did you begin working for me?" This was the question that Arthur was most dreading the answer. What if Merlin had been using him, for a way at Camelot?

"I didn't even want to work for you!" Merlin shot back. "I couldn't stand you! But I didn't exactly have a choice, now did I?"

Arthur could remember the early days. Merlin did seem to dislike him. And why not? Arthur had humiliated him, assaulted him, thrown him in the dungeon. But Merlin had approached him. What if he had orchestrated the whole thing from day one? Arthur shivered at the thought.

Merlin could finally see what the root of the problem was. Arthur was doubting his loyalty. Well, Merlin couldn't exactly just start spewing out the truth, of how much he looked up to Arthur and believed in him and... cared for him. That might even make him look more guilty if he tried to prove his innocence. He would just have to have faith that Arthur could truly see him.

Arthur did not like all of his dark doubts. He wished there was a way to be sure of Merlin's intentions. But there was not. He would just have to trust in him if he was going to. Though he wasn't ready for that yet, by any means. "Why Merlin? Why stay as my servant, day in and day out? Why pretend to be such an idiot. Tell me your agenda."

And Arthur could see by the look on Merlin's face, that he was right. There was a reason.

"I..." Merlin wasn't sure that Arthur could handle the entire truth. "Arthur..."

The Prince narrowed his eyes. He could feel his anger building. "Have you been plotting Camelot's downfall?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Then what is it, Merlin?" Arthur could not believe how calm he was being, despite the situation.

Merlin couldn't bring forth the words that Arthur was asking of him. "It wasn't for anything bad," he muttered at last.

The Prince felt his chest clench. So Merlin truly wasn't going to tell him? "All right. Well, I will be here if you ever decide you want to share. For now, it's late. That will be all, Merlin."

Merlin hesitated. He did not want to leave Arthur right now. But what could he do? Why couldn't that prat appreciate how honest he had been in the first place? Merlin finally nodded his head, solemnly. "Good night, Arthur."

There was no response.

Merlin left. Instead of going home, he went on a walk through the lower town so that he could think. What had he done? Why had he shown Arthur his magic? He had known that the Prince couldn't handle it and yet he had done it anyway. What had possessed him? He knew the answer. In that moment, when he had shown himself to Arthur, he had believed the Prince would accept him.

Maybe he still could, Merlin thought, hopefully. Arthur wanted to know why he was here? Maybe Merlin should tell him of the prophecy? Arthur might accept it? But then again, Arthur could reject it far worse than he was already dealing with the fact that Merlin had magic. Normally he would ask the Great Dragon for help but Merlin was worried to hear an answer that he might not want to hear. He could imagine the dragon telling him to keep quiet or risk losing Arthur forever. Was that how prophecies worked, though? Could talking about them, ruin them? Merlin wanted to share everything with Arthur. Especially now that Arthur knew about his magic.

The warlock struggled with this inner battle all through the night.

He wasn't any closer to an answer the next day, so he avoided Arthur like the plague. In fact, he tried to avoid Arthur as long as he could, until, at last, the Prince cornered him one day.

"There you are," he said to Merlin, casually.

Merlin swallowed. He was not fooled. He could see the fire in Arthur's eyes. But he remained silent, knowing that Arthur would soon do more than enough talking for the both of them.

"I will have to sack you if you continue to avoid your duties as my servant."

Merlin tried to clear the dryness from his throat.

"You do still want to be my servant, don't you, Merlin?" Despite the anger that was clear in Arthur's features, there was a hint of uncertainty in his tone.

Of course Merlin wanted that. But he knew that things could never go back to the way they had been. He knew deep in his soul that he had to tell Arthur the truth, the whole truth, and he feared when he did so, Arthur would no longer hold out such an offer.

"I suppose I should take a hint from your absence. Clearly, a servant's position wouldn't appeal to someone with magic, for too long?"

Merlin wanted to speak, but he was having trouble finding the words.

"We had a good run," Arthur stated. This time there was a clear sadness that lingered. He reached out and gave Merlin a pat to his shoulder.

"Arthur wait!" At last, Merlin had found his voice. "There is something you need to know. I do care about you, but there is a reason I stayed on as your servant. There is a prophecy that says that together you and I will bring magic back to the lands. It is my destiny." He hoped Arthur would know how much he did care about him, outside of the prophecy. However, Merlin was done hiding. If Arthur could not accept him, he would leave Camelot on this very day and try to fulfill his destiny elsewhere.

Arthur considered his words. There was a prophecy? He had always been taught not to take those lightly. "Says who?"

Merlin gave a puzzled expression.

"How did you learn of this prophecy, Merlin?" Arthur asked in annoyance.

"Oh! The umm... the... Great Dragon under Camelot told me."

Arthur raised an eyebrow. First off, dragons didn't talk... did they? But it only took Arthur a matter of moments to conclude, "I want to meet this dragon and hear this prophecy for myself, and if it is true..."

Merlin held his breath.

"...I suppose you should resume your duties straight away."

Merlin nodded profusely. Was Arthur truly saying he would go against his father, one day? It seemed so surreal that he scarcely dared to believe it.

"Merlin don't look so surprised!" The Prince shot out a hand to lightly slap the back of Merlin's head.

The warlock rubbed the spot, more for effect than because it actually hurt.

"Now Merlin... when do I meet this dragon?"


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin led Arthur down the lower tunnels, beneath the castle. When they approached the guards on duty, Arthur began to think up excuses on why he was down here with his servant. Before he had a chance to speak to them, Merlin whispered something and the dice on the table went flying away.

"Quick, this way," Merlin hissed out as he rushed off towards the cave where the dragon was kept. Arthur gaped at him for several seconds before having the common sense to follow. So, Merlin really did have magic. It was still hard to believe.

Before Arthur had finished reeling from that experience, he was thrust to the next, as he watched Merlin call for the dragon as if it were some glorified dog.

"Merlin," Arthur began, because there was a limit to what he was capable of buying into. Then he startled as Kilgharrah, the Great Dragon, began sweeping his wings as he appeared and neared them. Arthur took a protective stance. He glanced sideways at Merlin for an instant, the only time he allowed his eyes off of the monstrous, winged creature.

The dragon began to roar. "You fool! What have you done!"

Merlin swallowed. He had expected this type of reaction. "He means you no harm." That was the best he could come up with.

The dragon glared at him and Merlin was lucky that looks alone could not bring him harm. "How dare you bring one of my jailers to me!"

Arthur was astonished as he watched the two interact. Despite it being a conversation between a servant and a dragon, Arthur's royal breeding in matters of diplomacy began to kick in. "He is right, I come here only for answers."

The dragon laughed a horrible, guttural laugh, like something being dragged against the rocks which made up his prison. He was done playing nursemaid to these children. Without bothering to grace them with a response, he took flight and disappeared from view.

"Wait," Arthur screamed out.

Merlin placed a hand on his shoulder.

Normally that type of gesture would have been comforting, but Merlin had pushed too much upon Arthur, too swiftly. Arthur didn't jerk from the touch, but neither did it serve as a comfort. "Let's go," he told Merlin.

Once they were back in the Prince's royal chambers Arthur felt slightly more at ease, but not by much.

Merlin was the first to break the silence. "Arthur."

"What is it, Merlin?" The Prince sounded tired.

Merlin was scared, but he tried not to let it show. He began going about his normal daily routine. "Are you, uh, hungry? I could get you something from the kitchen." Merlin picked up the discarded clothing that had been piling up during his absence. He wrinkled his nose at the smell. Apparently, Arthur had also neglected bath time. That's what that odor had been earlier, Merlin realized.

"Merlin, let's not try to pretend everything is normal." Arthur could not handle anything less, right now.

"Okay." If the Prince wanted to talk, then Merlin could do that for him. "I'm sorry you didn't get your answers."

Arthur waved a dismissive hand. He stared at one of his walls, not really seeing anything. "I will take your word on it. Strange as this might sound, I trust you, Merlin."

Merlin's heart leapt. So he hadn't lost everything! He cleared his throat to keep his excitement stamped down. And he made sure to keep his tone even when he replied. "That's good. I mean, thank you."

They both fell silent, once more. Merlin wished he had dropped the pile of clothing somewhere. Now he didn't want to be the one to break the silence, even with that.

"Merlin... where does this leave us?"

Merlin cleared his throat again. He finally dumped the pile of stench in the corner. "Well, I would like to return to my duties as your servant, if you will have me?" He knew there was more that must be spoken. "Only... I guess I need to know where you stand on, well, magic? If you trust me, as you said, then... does that mean you will allow magic back into the kingdom? One day," Merlin hurried to add. "Not now."

Arthur nodded. He was too mentally drained to reassure Merlin right now. And in fact, he didn't know what to think about anything, anymore. His whole world had been turned upside down in a matter of days. Everything he had thought he had known... was now... different. He sighed heavily and finally turned to face Merlin. "If I said no, what would you say?"

Merlin swallowed. "I... I'm not sure. I care about you, Arthur. But... magic is a part of me. And it is my destiny to restore it to Albion."

Arthur nodded again. He had expected as much. Though it didn't make it easy to realize that there was something far more important than he. What a fool he had been to believe Merlin's whole world revolved around him. "I need some time, Merlin, to get used to things."

"Of course! Yeah. Take all the time you need." Merlin almost stumbled. He didn't like that Arthur was needing that, but how else could he respond? He went back to his normal routine of tidying up Arthur's chambers.

Arthur watched him as he worked. There was a heaviness in his heart. He had grown so close to Merlin, and now... it almost felt like he was having to get to know him all over again. Deep down, Arthur knew he was the same person and this was just another layer to him. But even so, nothing felt right. Why couldn't Merlin have been honest from the start? Arthur sighed. Of course, that never would have worked. He probably would have chopped his head off.

Arthur asked himself if he could lose Merlin? He didn't think that he could. Even despite it feeling like he had already lost the Merlin that he had always known. "If it is my destiny, as you say, I shall embrace it." Arthur gave a nod to Merlin when his servant looked his way in surprise. And Arthur meant it. For some reason, it did not even seem a hard feat. Of course, it wasn't something he had to face anytime soon. But even if it became hard, he knew that he would stand by his word. And thus, the entire topic no longer seemed relevant in his mind. It was already decided, a done deal.

The thing that continued to plague Arthur's mind, long after his servant had left with his soiled laundry, was that he felt he had lost his best friend, somehow. He knew Merlin would stay on as his servant. And nothing had really changed between them, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something vastly important had changed. He longed for Merlin to fix it. Somehow.


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur had been taking the news that Merlin had magic, fairly well. They didn't speak of it. He focused on his daily life. Merlin had gotten busy all of a sudden, too. Arthur would have thought that his servant was avoiding him, had he not been there to witness Gaius sending Merlin off to some magical endeavor. Arthur didn't know how to feel about everything, yet. He certainly didn't understand magic. Though, after Merlin had left, Arthur had returned to Gaius and inquired about learning some things. Of course, Gaius had tried to dissuade him. But Arthur was stubborn and he had ended up walking out with Merlin's very own book of magic, which was now stashed in his clothing wardrobe. Gaius hadn't given it to him, willingly, but when he had let it slip that Merlin had the only book on magic that he knew of, Arthur did not let up until he had searched Merlin's room and discovered it, at last.

Arthur had tried studying it, looking forward to hearing Merlin's praise. But after a whole day had passed, and Merlin had still not returned to Camelot, not only was Arthur worried, but he missed his servant terribly, so it was hard to focus. Besides, how was he supposed to care for himself? Merlin did so much for him on a daily basis.

Arthur threw himself into his responsibilities as best he could. But everything was overly calm in Camelot as of late. Not many distractions to be had. On the second day without Merlin, which the Prince would have said had been at least a week, Arthur Pendragon decided to go on a little trip. It had been so long since he had taken time away from the castle. He took far longer preparing than he would have if Merlin had been there, but somehow he managed. Then off he rode on his favorite horse. It was the most uneventful and boring few hours that the Prince could recall having since the days of his boyhood etiquette lessons. He returned home much earlier than he had planned.

As he was stabling his horse, he saw two familiar faces. They were two males that he used to spend time with, in the days before Merlin had come into his life. Merlin had taught Arthur so much, about friendship and loyalty. In Merlin, for the first time in the young Prince's life, someone had genuinely cared about him. Merlin had attended to his every need, pampered him, spoiled him in a way that no other servant ever had, because he had spoiled him with love. It had seemed so genuine. Half the time Merlin had a mouth on him that should have rightfully landed him in the stocks on a daily basis for speaking that way to royalty. But Arthur secretly loved it. He loved the way they bantered and treated each other as equals, all the while, Merlin being his loyal servant.

Now, Arthur knew it was because of their intertwined destiny. Who knew how long Merlin had kept that secret agenda to himself before finally sharing it with Arthur? The Prince would wager it had been for a while, though most likely not at the start. Arthur was sure that Merlin hadn't known who he was upon first meeting. The Prince thought back on those first couple of meetings with fondness. He wanted to hold onto that image of Merlin. His fearless, clueless, endearing friend.

"Oi, how have you lads been?" he called out to his former mates.

They seemed pleased to see him, which made him instantly perk up. Deep down he knew they worshipped him for the wrong reasons. If he weren't the Prince of Camelot, they might not give him the time of day. But he didn't care. This was something, false as it might be, and right now that seemed awfully inviting. And it wasn't as if he were replacing Merlin as his friend. He was simply... taking advantage of a distraction until things got back on track between him and Merlin. Things [had] to get right between them, he silently pleaded to any gods of both old and new religions, who might be listening. If Merlin had magic, then it couldn't be all bad, so Arthur would pray to as many deities as he could get.

"How would you boys like to go on a little outing with me?" He was sure things would be much more fun this time with comrades.

Merlin couldn't believe the rotten timing. Gaius had told him of a mythical creature, that only a magical weapon could defeat. Merlin was supposed to go and enchant a sword for use in King Cenred's army. It would be dangerous, but with his abilities, he wasn't worried. It was nice to get out of the castle. He was enjoying himself, but the back of his mind nagged that he had left Arthur at the worst possible time.

Ah, well, it couldn't be helped, he thought, as he finally arrived in Essetir. It felt good to be back in his homelands. He had grown up here and it would always be a part of him. He was happy to help in this way that would ultimately protect his mother. It would have been nice for Arthur to accompany him, but he knew that King Uther would have never allowed it. Arthur had already put himself at risk while helping defend Merlin's hometown of Ealdor, recently. Merlin would not repeat the same, especially when this time his task was simple. Enchant a sword. What could go wrong?

Merlin normally would have returned to Camelot in record time, so that Arthur would not suspect him of being gone in the first place. But since Arthur knew everything now, and had given him leave, Merlin wanted to stick around to actually see to it that the creature was vanquished. He could offer magical assistance if need be. Though he would have to hide it as he always had, only for different reasons than in Camelot. If King Cenred caught wind of Merlin's gifts, he would surely enslave him and force him to fight for the Essetirian army.

With the Prince and the Warlock away from Camelot, the Great Dragon decided to enact his back-up plan. He called out softly to the Lady Morgana's mind as she slept. He could sense when she finally awoke, and then he continued to call to her until she would finally come to him, as Merlin had first done. Then she would hear of her great destiny, all for the small price of his freedom. He would have rather used Merlin to do his bidding because the foolish boy had seemed so less problematic, but the witch would just have to make do.


End file.
